First Week of Grad. Schoolz

This will be most short, because I have to read two short stories for tomorrow for a class that I may or may not drop.

Tomorrow is my one week anniversary with graduate school! How will I celebrate? I will go to the aforementioned class at 9:50, then get a steroid injection into my shoulder at 1:00, teach piano from 3:00-8:00, and I will end the night by going to an "Arts and Crafts" event hosted by the gay fraternity on campus. When I write it all down, I wonder how I am actually going to do all of this? Especially since my shoulder will feel massively awkward for a good two days after this injection. NICE.

Being a grad. student at Rutgers is LONELY, y'all! I am only taking two musicology classes this semester because everything conflicts with everything else! How rude is that? Technically I only need to take two classes every semester because my Teaching Assistantship counts as 3 "non-billable credits," bumping me up to full time. All of my Carnegie Mellon friends will understand my inability to only take TWO classes. What the hell will I do with my time? I signed up for a Russian short story class appropriately called "The Russian Short Story." Will it be worth it? I don't know. There are only two papers, each 5-7 pages long, and the final exam is MULTIPLE CHOICE. What?? Seriously? Yes. I am still debating whether or not I should take this class, because I want to take three musicology classes next semester as well as a feminist theory course so that I can begin building credits towards my certificate in Women's and Gender Studies, and that adds up, y'all! Still, how could I only take two classes? Things to ponder.

I am most happy to report that I got a job teaching beginning and intermediate piano students! I will maintain the appropriate decorum and not discuss the particulars of my salary, but I will be working half of music as I did as Borders and I'll be making about three times as much. The keen reader will notice that I used the past tense. That is because I put my 2 (actually 3) weeks notice in today. I really enjoyed working for Borders...sometimes. When I was working by myself, gettin' great tips, and having some cool conversations with interesting customers, then I loved it. However, whenever I had to do "retail training," try to sell people things, meet quotas, and work with REALLY incompetent people who felt the need to talk down to me because I was new, then I hated it. Ultimately my decision to resign was based mostly on the fact that my manager did not post the following week's schedule until Thursday and, with all my school projects and teaching, I need to know what I am doing in two weeks so that I can plan accordingly.

I know you will all understand.

Next Tuesday, I am doing a 15-minute oral presentation on various sources of a 15th century chanson, including original manuscripts (yeah, neumes!!!!) and modern editions. I was the first person to volunteer, and now I am half-regretting my impulsivity. If I am proud of the work that I've done, I will discuss it on here. To prepare, I suggest that you all read The Decameron, some 11th century feminist literature by Christine de Pisan, and contract the plague. A basic reading knowledge of French is required.

Hugs!

- StevenJude

Blogging.

Many of my friends put such care and art into their blogs. Elyssa and Shannon (Miss Manhattan and Cats in Chicago respectively) are legitimate blog artists; if they decided to charge for subscriptions, I would totally pay. Through their own blog refinement, I feel as though *I* need to start writing better blog posts unlike my last one which made little to no sense. Sorry!

I originally conceived this blog as a place for me to intelligently articulate my thoughts on various musicological topics, but it has disintegrated into an artless anthology of my various non-sequitirs, a glorification of the random unimportant things in my life. Hopefully that will change once I am thrust into a scholarly setting again rather than the mundane, faceless day to day of a Bookstore employee.

After e-mailing seven different people various inquiries about the state of my financial aid, I have finally received a beautifully succinct and straightforward "yes" from someone. What was my first reaction? E-mail her for further clarification. Carnegie Mellon endowed me with a desire for clarity, precision, and competence that is practically insatiable in the real world given that these are qualities that only 5% of the population share. Getting a direct explanation from anyone at Rutgers takes about three weeks, six phone calls, and eighteen hours of waiting music music. I want to go up to whomever I have to go up to and offer to revamp EVERYTHING about the music department, including a current and clear graduate school handbook. For a school that ranks among the top 20 graduate programs in the county in most academic programs, they're not doing so well in the organization department. Despite all of this drama and the massive room for improvement, everything worked out with my financial aid and stipend drama. I can finally semi-relax again.

Working at The Bookstore is extremely low key and relaxing...for me, at least. There is a LOT of negativity from my coworkers stemming from recent management shifts which has caused a lot of people to start looking for other jobs. The scary thing about Borders is that most people who I've met have not worked for the company for more than a year but still claim to have worked there "for a long time." Gee, great. It's important to rise above the negativity, people!After all, it's a café in a bookstore. This is not something to stress out about it. Go in, do your job, leave. I think this another aspect of the CMU mentality that is lacking in many other people. Stop complaining and do something about it! Then again, I am in the position where I know I will not be working at The Bookstore for the rest of my life, so I have the luxury to not really care, but, still, if it is your main source of income, why not try to make the best of it? Of course, I do have an awful tendency toward complacency so perhaps I shouldn't be giving this advice.

I'm afraid I've ventured into hodgepodge/mishmosh world again. I am in the Zebra Lounge drinking the usual half Lava Roast, half Hazelnut coffee. It feels good to be back.

Good things.

A lot of good things have been happening recently. I wish that they would spread themselves out evenly over the year rather than happening all in ONE WEEK, but it keeps me on my toes or something like that.

Firstly, I am enjoying The Bookstore. There is usually only one person deployed to the café at a time, so I work by myself a lot. Sound stressful? It is so gosh-darned slow compared to Starbucks. I love it. I also make a wild amount of tips when I work by myself in the morning. Accordingly, I hate working nights.

Secondly, I went to gay karaoke with my friend Dan (not Wetzel). After a few gin and tonics you better believe that I was READY to sang, so I broke out "The Man That Got Away." Whoever says that alcohol isn't good for singing is a LIAR. I don't think singing ever felt so good especially that high. Lovely. That's not the best part of the night. The best part was the extremely GORGEOUS and tall doctor who came up to me after I sang to tell me that he loved it. I wanted him to stay and talk to me longer, but I think he thought I was with Dan. I should also mention that this place is a DIVE BAR...not in appearance, but in terms of the people it attracts AKA a lot of older bears. Okay, maybe that's demeaning to older gay men with facial hair. It's a nice environment and everyone's nice. The moral of the story is we were the only devestatingly gorgeous people in the bar. Gravity pulled us together.

I ended the evening by singing back-up with a middle aged black lesbian to a total man-Guidette's version of "Killing Me Softly." Perfect.

What happened next?

I got an e-mail from Rutgers saying that my Financial Award was revised. The last time I checked it my tuition remission wasn't included and there was about FOUR listed that I had no interest in taking out; I assumed that this was just a notification that this had been remedied.

WRONG.

I found listed: Work Study moneys, a subsidized loan (no thanks. been there. paying that), Graduate Tuition Remission (aka my teaching assistantness), and...A Graduate Fellowship for $12,500 a year. UM WHAT?!?!?! This was a Saturday so I couldn't call anyone to confirm or refute that Rutgers is now giving me a stipend, so I walked around in this daze of "ZOMG, I might not have to kill myself working and going to school for the fifth year in a row!"

After wading through a million busy signals, I finally got through to the Financial Aid office to confirm that yes, Rutgers is giving me a $12,500 stipend. Skeptical of people's competence as usual, I said "Am I listed as an in-state student?!" thinking that they had overlooked the fact that I've never lived anyone OTHER than New Jersey and were billing me for out-of-state tuition and thought that I needed the money to cover tuition. Nope, in-state status.

So. Good things for Steven. Now, I may quit Borders...

Lavender

A brief update on my life thus far.

I started working at The Bookstore on Wednesday! For the time being I will be trained in the café and then on the book floor. I hope that I can eventually work in inventory because they get paid more, and I imagine that I will tire of interacting with people constantly. Also, the company has a strict confidentiality/don't blog about us clause, so I will now refer to it as The Bookstore. Maybe The Book Job. I'll switch it up.

Moral of THAT story is: Training/working in the café is easy because I worked at Starbucks for three years, so it is basically the same thing. I feel competent and useful which are good for the self-esteem.

--------------------------------------------

If there is one thing that I have difficulty tolerating, it is people who constantly make excuses based on how "sick" they are or who are incessantly talking about their various ailments. Itespecially frustrates me when voice majors do this because we all know someone who went to class as often as she could up until a week before she died. Moral of that story: Stop complaining.

With that, I will share something with my dear devoted readers that most of you probably do not know. I have major issues with my back/neck/jaw. Sometimes the tension/pain/whatever is so intense that I can't stay awake (or fall asleep), pay attention, form cohesive sentences, et cetera! I believe it stems from my stress/anxiety issues as well as that one time that I jumped off a 40 foot water tower and landed on my back. That was awesome.

I believe that my stress and anxiety are the main culprits for perpetuating this tension and so I have decided to take action! Yesterday, while coming back from Trader Joe's, I stopped in at GNC and bought "Stress & Anxiety" capsules (which sounds counterproductive, right?) You take one or two "day time" supplements to ease stressful and anxious feelings and one 'nite time" (yes, nite) supplement that helps you fall asleep and is supposed to ease nocturnal anxiety. I also bought "Nighty Night" tea. Can someone rename this please? While at Trader Joe's I also picked up lavender soap and lavender body oil (Sexy, n'est-ce pas?) since lavender is supposed to be a relaxing scent.

Did it work? I am not sure. I greatly enjoyed smelling like lavender all night long, however, I am also experiencing INTENSE itchiness that woke me up at 2am. Sadface. However, I slept straight through until my alarm at 9am, so something good must be happening! Then I spent some time on the couch and stupidly arranged myself in a position that I KNEW would ruin my neck for the rest of the day. RUDE.

I'm also starting a 2 weeks liver cleanse on Sunday with the hope that, by ridding my body of lots o' toxins, I will be less tired and feel less lethargic. Of course, this feeling will probably go away once I get my Rutgers ID and can start using their gym. Being in New Jersey, where one does not have to walk everywhere, makes me feel fat.

OKAY HUGZ BYEEEE

I would just like to point out that my first entry in this blog was titled "Inception."

Steven Jude Tietjen - musicologist, Bea Arthur enthusiast and...prophet!

Pittsburgh

Being back in Pittsburgh has made me realize that I really enjoy Pittsburgh. If my parents had allowed me to bring my car while I was at Carnegie Mellon I would've enjoyed it more WHILE I went to school here. The problem with Pittsburgh is that it is LOVELY in the summer because you can literally walk everywhere (if you do not want to take a bus), but it is a TERRIBLE city in the winter when you HAVE to take the bus.

Anyway, I have already spent $30 on books. It is a good thing that my mother does not read my blog. Some gems include:

Pushkin: A Biography. This was published within the past 3 years (I don't feel like looking right now), it is hardcover and still has the dust cover and it was ONLY $3.75. Genius

Life of Rossini by Stendhal. For some reason this book which is 40 years older than the Pushkin was $3.00 Still, I am not complaining.

Confessions of St. Augustine: $1.00 (Yay for bargain books!)

Then at the Caliban bookstore:

Musicology and Gender (YAAAAAY!) $8.00. Worth it.

And an enormous biography of Tchaikovsky that was only 2.00 (similar to the Pushkin.)

Their bargain bin had an enormous amount of books on classical music and they were almost all soft cover aka 5o cents. Excellent.

That is my life in Pittsburgh thus far.

Jay picked me up at the bus terminal. He is a god for driving/eating Chipotle with only one fully functioning arm.

Wedding tomorrow. Most excited!

Lastly, I may be able to audit Russian at Rutgers for free. It would cost me the same amount to take officially audit the class as it would to officially register for the course, but the professor is allowing me to audit it unofficially. Rutgers, you are a mess. Or maybe this is policy everywhere and in undergrad I didn't have to worry about paying for overloading on classes so I did not care.

It is going to be massively awkward to only be taking 9 credits. Oh, grad school!

Divine Weekend

This weekend I had the joy of seeing some fabulous CMU people not once but TWICE! Oh, it was lovely to be around like-minded (or at least like-educated) friends.

Every time that I go to Hoboken I am reminded of how much I love it. Being a student who cannot work full-time means that I will not to Hoboken any time soon, and that makes me sad, but I assuage my anxiety by remembering that the more money I save now, the less stressed out I will be later. Yeah, sure!

Anyway, Sunday was a day of all types of brilliance. I drove an hour north to New Milford to hang out with Dan. We watched ANNIE HALL, which he had never seen. I've seen this film a minimum of five times in the past two years. It is still cripplingly hilarious every time. It's that kind of intelligent, real-to-life humor that is missing from most mainstream movies. Dan loved it, especially the line "Touch my heart with your foot." So, overall it was a win.

Then we watched the HBO "Grey Gardens" movie with Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange. Good performances, but a pretty boring script.

With the movies watched, we headed to Alex's apartment in BROOKLYN for pasta et cetera. In contrast to my adventure to Hoboken on Friday, Dan and I only got lost once...when we went into an apartment building, knocked on a stranger's door, and then realized that we were definitely NOT in Alex's building. Hilarity.

Anyway, the evening was full of great food, fabulous people, and brilliant conversation. Dan and I stayed with Shannon and Alex until well after midnight just talking. I had about a bottle of champagne plus some chianti, so I was feeling absolutely great. These are the kinds of nights that I constantly prefer over "going out." They are cheaper, you can adjust the lighting and music volume, you can see the person in front of you, and there is no better way to get to know someone better than having an intelligent, group discussion on sundry issues and interests.

My all day hangover was worth it.

What is next for Steven Jude? At 2:30 I FINALLY get my permanent porcelain veneers. My one tooth came out consistently Sunday night. It was REALLY annoying.

Borders hasn't called me back about when I am starting. Sketchy. But my friend just told me that there are openings at the MET gift shop, so...I am definitely going for that drama if Borders flakes out on me. Or, I'll just work at both places.

Okay, that's it. My neck hurts, and I have to go mentally prepare myself for this procedure.

For those of you who are a little slow and do not notice these things, I would like to point out that I have changed the layout of this here "blog." (Can we come up with a new word for blog? It is too close to bog, and not close enough to Blok.)

Comments appreciated, but by no means necessary.

I would also like to assert my love for La Sonnambula.

No music as of yet.

I think I may turn this into a summer reading blog, so that I can put some ideas that I am trying work out on "paper."

Anyway, I got the job at Borders. YAY. I'll be working on the book floor as well as in the café (Starbucks rears its ugly head!) Actually, working at Starbucks for so long was one of the reasons that I got the job, so I can't complain. I am excited. I've heard a lot of negative things about working for the company, in terms of crazy management, but you get 33% off, there's a "library system," so you basically never really have to buy a book, and part-time benefits, which is very good, considering that I will be off my parent's dental insurance this December.

Other news? I get my permanent porcelain veneers on Tuesday. Should be a HELL of a procedure. Not looking forward to it. Luckily, I have been authorized to take valium and advil beforehand. Yay. I should also get my new glasses sometime next week! Yay! Driving and seeing!

In other, sadder news, it has been discovered that my maternal grandmother, known affectionately as Mimí, has lung cancer. It hasn't spread anywhere, which is good. Ostensibly, they could just take the tumor in her lung out. But, if the cancer caused some sort of inflammation of her lymph nodes, then she needs to do chemo before they can remove the tumor. Also, it has to be determined whether or not she is healthy enough to be operated on.

Lots of layers, no? I have a difficult time dealing with situations with that because, contrary to what many people believe, I am an eternal optimist. I get through life by saying that everything will be okay, it'll all turn out for the best, et cetera. But sometimes it doesn't, and I don't prepare myself well for the instances in which it doesn't.

One thing I do know, however, is that you cannot reverse situations by ignoring them. So, no matter what may happen, I will try to spend more time with my grandmother (hopefully her senile, 89 year old boyfriend will not be around.) Since I am home, don't have much else to do, and she lives two blocks away, it's not difficult. Plus, I want her to teach me how to cook Italian foods and the crazy cookies she makes, including lavender and black pepper cookies.

I've always felt a connection to my grandmother. I think her and I are very, very similar people. In fact, the more time I spend with her now, the more I realize it to be true. I can imagine my life taking a similar course that hers did.

Okay, enough sad stuff. I have to go to work at 9, which means I have to leave at 8, which means I have to wake up at 7:30, and I got NO sleep last night. Ugh.

Peace and blessings!

Ah, vorrei trovar parola a spiegar com'io t'adoro.

This will be brief since I intended to write on a different subject, but then the beautiful lines in the post's title came into my head, and I became distracted. Nothing new.

LA SONNAMBULA by Vincenzo Bellini is probably my second favorite opera after Bellini's NORMA. They were written in the same year, 1831, and are testaments to Bellini's versatility. NORMA is a heroic, passionate, organically human and tremendously overlooked work of art of undervalued significance. LA SONNAMBULA is pastoral, sensitive, deceptively complex in its simplicity and idiotically castigated as irrelevant, frivolous, and obsolete.

I believe that it is SONNAMBULA's lack of pretense and Bellini's ability to create genuine human emotion in a beautiful display of economy of means that makes it relevant, poignant, and relatable despite what some may call an overly idyllic and improbable plot.

Anyway, the music is simply gorgeous. The melodies are almost folklike in their simplicity set to a deliberately, purposeful accompaniment and orchestration owing to Bellini's divine ability to effortlessly realize textual meaning in musical device. The duets between Amina and Elvino are textbook examples of characterization through music and poetry dictating music.

I could go on for hours, but let us now listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH5jzYjXP0g

Elvino confesses that he was jealous of this old dude who came to town who took interest in Amina. He says "I am jealous of the errant breeze that plays with your hair, et cetera, et cetera," and Amina replies "I love the breeze because I confide your name to it." (A literal and unpoetic translation, forgive me.) It is just fabulous. Historical note: Callas revived and OWNED this role. Divine.

And now Scotto and Kraus sing the same duet:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=Q78JdqkK0bs&feature=related

I am not doing this chronologically, my apologies:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=AWHvwOUAYNE&feature=related

Elvino presents the engagement ring to Amina.

Later in the scene. Callas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=Ctn42xk3bB8&feature=related

So Amina gets herself into some trouble! She sleepwalks (Sonnambula/Sonnambulist) into that old guy's bedroom thinking that she was going to see Elvino. Hey, she was asleep! Anyway, the jealous Lisa tells all to Elvino who then promptly calls off the engagement. Amina says "I'm not guilty of a stray thought or action." Glorious.

Callas and the elegant Cesare Valletti:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=LPEvQm40MrI&feature=related

A fresh-voiced (and diction less) Joan Sutherland with the outstanding Nicolai Gedda:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=TqqB9LQony4&feature=related

And, lastly, if you are still paying attention by now, I give you Amina's two arias.

Come per me sereno (Scotto). Basically, "I am really happy with life!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxfwR6q6zws

And her sleepwalking scene "Ah, non credea mirarti," which basically means "O, flowers I didn't think you'd die so fast," you know, flowers being a metaphor for love, blah blah.

I give you Callas at the end of her career and her voice, because it is THE best interpretation of this aria. Every note and word is imbued with meaning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRhBY0X4sv8

And, the cabaletta to that aria. Elvino says "Oh, I was wrong!" and Amina says "Oh, yay! I am most happy!" as evident in the massive amount of coloratura. (Note: The many E-flats were not penned by Bellini, but were most likely written for Jenny Lind or Adelina Patti in the late nineteenth century. They've stuck.)

A younger Callas:

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=jDDDRyYMkKc&feature=related

Cecilia Bartoli gives a very personal, successful and "mezzo" rendition of the cabaletta:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cM1d-b_SpaM

Enjoy. Please leave comments! Note: Every time I listen to "D'un pensiero," I am overcome by music's ability to express that which cannot be said.

In my life news:

1. I had my second interview at Borders today. The manager basically told me that I have the job, but I have to wait for official notice once she talks to the general manager. Let us hope it works out!

2. Not chronological. Jennifer's Body is about to come on TV. Oy very!

3. Telemarketing is not so bad. In fact, it is highly amusing most of the time. The people I work with her are MASSIVELY hilarious.

Bbye.